“Speak your heart out.”
Easier said than done. Oftentimes, you want to cry your heart out but no words seem to best explain it. You tend to explain everything to others for them to understand why you’re acting such but you find it too hard to do at the same time. Until you get tired. You get tired of shouting inside about what’s happening to you or about how you feel but nobody seems to listen or care at least. No one bothers to know you deeply. To understand every bit of you. They only care on how you react to them and not as to why you do so. It aches, I know. But that is life. As they say, you can’t please everybody. Because if you do, you will drain yourself and you will start to lose all of you. Emptiness will start filling your mind and your soul and that will be the start of you feeling unworthy. You will start blaming yourself for actions and results you didn’t cause in the first place. It will tear you into pieces, maybe not on the outside, but on the inside is for sure.
“So, please STOP.”
It won’t do you any better. You have to realize that dwelling on those kinds of emotions is not worth every ounce of your being. You gotta do some self love. Always remember, you don’t deserve to be stuck in that kind of situations nor be around those people who let you feel or act that way. You have to loosen your grip and learn to let go even if you cherish them so much. Even if they say that they care about you. You have to listen to their actions and not on what they say they are. After all, the world will continue to revolve even without them. Maybe being isolated from the norm is all you need. Because there, you will start to understand your heart’s cry. All this time, what it wanted was to be heard. To be prioritized.
“CHOOSE YOUR WELL-BEING.”
So the next time you feel that you have to explain yourself, please don’t try hard. If people won’t understand you, let them be. Never consider other’s feelings too much. You have to choose when it is time to put yourself first before anyone else. You are responsible for your own happiness. And I know that all of these can’t be done in a blink of an eye. I know that it needs time. Don’t feel pressured. You can do it little by little. PRAY. It’s the only way you can get through whatever life throws at you. You will never lose in prayer. NEVER.
Lastly, I hope after all these things, you will be able to see that life is not about being accepted and loved by many all the time. Not everyone will see you as how you wanted to be seen. You will never be enough to others. But you are all enough to Him. He will see you beyond all your flaws. In Him, you will not need to worry about anything. Never cease to believe in His goodness and faithfulness and everything will fall into place. Always keep the faith!